I know I'll smile again one day...

Why not make it today?

Ok, so without beating around the bush, my girlfriend broke up with me today.

She said she's not happy, which ends up making me not happy. She said she rushed into this relationship. She said she's not ready to love again and she won't be ready for a while. She said that all of this is unfair to me, so it's best we just separate.

I told her ok, and she knows where I'll be.

That shit was so not me, but so me. I thought that I needed Logic to deal with pain, to talk myself through it and tell myself everything will be ok. Then I had an epiphany...

My strength does not come from my brain, it comes from my mother fucking heart!

I realized how much I went through in my life, all the pain and the suffering that had other people telling me they would have killed themselves if they were in my position. And yet, at the age of 20 I'm still an amazingly caring, selfless and optimistic person. I KNOW what I want from this girl and I did my best to get it. I failed? Whatever. I'm going to stand tall, be the person that I've always been and I know when it's all said and done I will have NO regrets.

For the hour or so that I started feeling sorry for myself I texted my buddy and told her what happened. She gave me the usual schpeel about how I'll get over her and how it's her loss etc etc. That's when I realized it's all the same shit I would be telling someone in my position. I don't have the need to sit here feeling sorry for myself, I did NOTHING wrong. The whole time I've been telling myself as well as others that as long as you try your hardest you have nothing more to give.

Shay, you've got a permanent place in my heart, you know that. If you need your time to do you, take it. You'll either find someone who you think is better than me and you'll be happy with him, or you'll realize that nobody can love you like I can and you'll be happy with me. Either way, I promise to you, I'm going to be happy.

Now, don't think you can black out fuck with mad niggas and I'll just take you back as soon as you're done getting some shit out of your system. I'm a very understanding and loving person, especially for you, but I'm not a dumbass. ;)

Anyways, I don't even feel like writing this blog anymore cuz I don't feel the need to sit here and explain that I'm just going to continue living life as me, Cameron. =)