Ehhhhhhhhh

I'm fucking lost. And desperate. I'm really going to give this girl my all, because I know that although so much is at stake, I'll never get US to where I want us to be by holding back. Worst of all my road map is now gone.

I'm fucking scared. The mere thought of how much EMOTION I'm going to put into this is staggering. I'm sitting here eyes welled up because I have to do the very thing I fear doing. I HAVE to though. It could be too little too late but I swear I'm going to do it.

I have her picture as my screen saver on my phone. She's so fucking beautiful when she smiles. The kind of beautiful that never fades, and never gets old. I miss seeing her smile so much. I miss making her smile, and I miss knowing she was smiling because she was with me.

I'm out of words. It's all in my head now, and it's my job to make this work...