This whole 'life' shit?

Crazy. Fucking insane.

I'm looking all around me and I'm seeing things. God, am I finally turning into my twin? I was on the freeway coming home right now, and I promise you I almost left this universe, lmao.

Now though, I'm happy. I think she's happy, that's why. I don't think this happiness of hers will last too long though, it's becoming more and more obvious she still isn't really sure of her......direction. Shit's crazy because when I was in the car talking to her in that other realm, she did her fucking best to make me believe she really just didn't give a fuck anymore. Yet, if the little birds that keep landing on my shoulder are telling the truth, she DOES care. lol. I don't know, I'm kind of looking forward to this self-conceived time a few months from now where I'll hit her up just to check how she's been and she'll be happy. I lowkey fantasize about that day...

I saw Steph at the bowling alley tonight. Mad random lol. It was funny cuz like I walked in and Ace and Maury were planning on going to talk to her and the girls she was with but they hadn't done it yet, so I walked over like "Man I ain't scared, watch this." went over and grabbed Steph and gave her a hug lol. She was all extra embarrassed that she was kinda drunk and kept telling me to go away because she didn't want me to see her like that. (I was personally trippin off how she still valued my opinion so much.) Then, as she drank more, she started asking why I just left her like that and how she never expected that from me. All I could tell her was that it was a fucked up situation and I thought that was the best idea.

Kind of made me realize how strange I am to people. To them it seems like I can be the person closest to them one day and be gone and have completely forgotten about them the next. I never forget about people though, I ALWAYS check up on people whether they know about it or not (on some lowkey stalker shit, I can't front) but I do it out of love. I get attached to people quickly and it takes me a long time to let go of them but I never completely cut them out. To this day I still check on people like Laura, Chris and Selma just because I want to know that they're doing well. And really, when I exit-stage-left on people, it's just because I feel like I can't do anything to make anything better until they really figure out THEIR direction. So far it's worked pretty well, and anyone who ever really realized that I might just be worth their time has found their way back into my heart. I expect that tradition to continue fuh-eva. lol

But really I need to go to sleep now, Lakers play the Jazz at noon. Dueces.