The mini-depression

I've never been able to hold a negative emotion for a long time once I've been able to define it. The past week or so was filled with confusion and uncertainty and that's why I was having such a hard time finding pleasure in this all or even just finding out what the fuck I was going to do. Now though, I honestly have to say I think I'm good now.

My cousin came over and even though I THOUGHT I was good before she got here as soon as I started talking about how alone I felt and how I thought that I would never be able to be me and still make it in this world, I started bawling like a little bitch lol. My cousin didn't say shit, she just let me talk and that was exactly what I needed. It allowed me to comfort myself mentally, a la Dancing In The Rain. Then when I was done she just held me and told me everything I already knew and I felt bad for even crying at all. She said she was mad at me because I'm supposed to be the rock, and she knows I'm stronger than this. Like, I always knew exactly what I wanted and I let myself get sidetracked. I won't say it was some minor shit, because it really wasn't, but regardless I've never let shit knock me off-course and I can't let that start now........word.

*sigh*

lol, I'm really hoping that I'm done. I want to make this music, and I want it to be positive. I want to live my life, and I want it to be positive. I want my memory to live on, and I want it to be positive.

Enemies and obstacles are just a figment of my imagination and it's up to me not to let them catch me by surprise and get too powerful. It's all a bad dream, all I have to do is remember to open my eyes...

WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A PENGUIN EATING A LEMON ON MY BED!?!?!?!?!

lol, because shit like that isn't be stressed, it doesn't really matter. =)

Dancing In The Rain (again!)