Smh.

Watching Whose Line Is It Anyway, annoyed by my day. It's always that ONE fucking person that can get to you, the only ONE who can get to you who ends up getting to you.

Through all the bitches, through all the hoes, even through my relationship, SHE still has me wrapped around her fuckin finger.

Why fucking ask me a question you already know the answer to? How do I feel about you? Bitch I fucking love you, dead ass. Ok, I admit I might be on some bullshit right now but you know how I've felt about you since the day I met you and really, it's only gotten stronger over time...

And over the past month or however long it's been I kept that shit quiet because I knew this shit would happen again. So we flirted, we held each other, I told you I wanted to kiss you and you didn't say no. You told me not to play with your emotions, you sat/laid on my lap and every time I pushed you off you got right back saying that's where you felt comfortable. You changed my name in your phone to Lowkey Boo, just like your name is in mine. You have consistently given me signs that there's something between us.

Then when I ask you how you feel about me you tell me I'm a good friend. Then when you already know I'm a little upset about it, you ask me "Well what do you want me to say?" and I told you the truth, that it doesn't matter. You say it does. So I say "I've wanted you to say something else for over a year now and where has it gotten me, what has it changed? NOTHING."

No response.

I'm not even asking for much. Just acknowledge that there's something there. Because there IS something there. If there isn't than either I'm stupid as fuck or you're lying to yourself/me/both of us.

And really either way it goes I'll be good. If you ain't fuckin with me at all then I already know I have to go the way I don't want to go, but feel like I HAVE to go because it keeps me safe and ahead of the game. I can win that game, I can fuck every girl in the world and bust a nut or two every day until my body becomes incapable.

Or I can know that there's still a reason NOT to go down that road, and keep myself in check like I've been doing. Whether you know it or not you are more or less all that's keeping me from being just like my bro. No pressure though.

FUCK THIS SHIT.