Same ish, different day.

Man this fuckin girl is killing me. I've been here before, where I was 100% sure that she had feelings for me and all it would take is for me to say the word and we could start talking again and work towards....whatever.

Just that last time I did, she was down one day and then the next was talking about how we're just friends and I need to chill. Like, I don't want to take it extra fast or extra serious, I just want to be able to hold her like I want to, and kiss her like I want to because I know SHE wants to. That's it. It's like regardless of who either of us are talking to the chemistry between us refuses to die down or stop setting off fucking explosions of sparks at completely random times.

That's what makes it so difficult to work around though. I know she's not done talking to other dudes, and I'm not done talking to other females. I don't know about her, but on some level, I want her to be the girl who was still around even while I was talking to all those other females so that maybe if me and them didn't work out, I'll finally be ready for HER.

So I want to settle in the middle ground, be able to move wherever I like without it being a problem. Move closer to her, or further from her, whichever is better for the time. Just finding the right words to explain this seem to escape me, and they aren't coming out of my mouth, so maybe they're just blowing out of my ass. =/

No homo.