Curiosity killed the cat

Fucking females dog...

Amanda says she loves me. She says she realized a lot of things and that I was right in saying I know her best. This all comes just as I was truly becoming comfortable with the idea that I no longer have feelings for her like that. Lord knows I still have mad love for her, but as far as her being on my mind and being THE girl I love.....nah. So I told her that she's kinda OD'in and we'll talk about it more later. So, I'll talk about it more later....lol.

Jackee.....damn. It all started when she didn't come to karaoke and I told her I would pick her up and she still didn't come. Iffy to say the least. Then she left me alone with her phone and my curiosity took over. I found out my name in her phone was "Shawne" which isn't my name ahahah obviously. So I let that slide but there was obviously more than meets the eye going on. Next she had on her AIM away message something about hanging out with "wifey" that night. The revelations of last blog entry were that she's bi. So I decided to just ask her straight up what was good. She tells me wifey is a gay dude she knows and she calls him that, and that my name is different in her phone because she fucks some dude and he goes through her phone and trips when there's a new name in it. So to justify this she only didn't tell me because he supposedly means nothing to her and she only does it to him because he gives her money that she needs. Then tonight I decide to Google her, because with no MySpace or Facebook I really need something to fall back on to see if I can trust her. Negative. Some girl in Moreno Valley wrote her name in a blog saying AND I QUOTE (lol) "love this girl unconditionally and Im willin to move past everything that has happened and start over fresh." That's the only part of the blog I got to see and yet there are already like 3 different problems with JUST that.

So now I gotta decide what I'm going to do with her. I definitely think I'm going to keep her around, she seems like a pretty good friend if nothing else. BUT (I apologize for the simp shit but I HAVE to get this out) it's really disappointing to say the least. Everything about her seemed so perfect and she said all the right words, so it's kind of hard to believe that it was all game. Yet, I have this feeling that I should stick around but keep my head above water. WAY above water. She's going to lie, and she's going to sneak (apparently) but I'll just act like Dell and not believe any of that shit lol. Yet, just like Dell, beyond all the bullshit, I know for a fact there's a genuine person under there. So maybe I should just take it upon myself to try and pull that person out. I kind of have a knack for getting to people who nobody else can get to, so hey who knows, maybe this time I'll get lucky. Peace.