Rambling

I think this is where you'll start noticing how emotionally volatile I am.

Okay, so, today I feel awesome. I think my dad worked his whole situation out, and I sure as hell HOPE he did...

But today I feel like there's a purpose for me here. Why is that strange?

Ok, first off, let me tell you being an atheist is NOT easy and it get's depressing as fuck sometimes. My belief system tells me that there is no God, there is no afterlife, there is no real purpose for my life, any of my loved-one's lives, the Earth, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe. It all means nothing. We're kind of just here, and then we die (basically like how you felt before you were born, except you'll never find out what happened in that time period.)

Now, sometimes I wake up and feel disconnected, like a laptop that's getting no wi-fi signal. I sit up in my bed and all of the previous paragraph goes through my mind in an instant. It's a very strange, frightening and angry emotion that I can't describe through words, EVEN as a self-proclaimed poet. It feels like nothing. It feels like finding out that everything around you is non-existent, and you can do nothing to change it. Like being eradicated in an instant, and having no emotion or record of the fact. The end of the universe won't be written in a history book.

So, the Big Bang is basically God. How did it happen? Well, it just sort of......did. Why did it happen? *shrugs* So the expanse of the universe came from nothing, for no reason, and we just so happen to be on a planet perfect for life?

Ummm, pretty much.

God/Big Bang make no sense. Unfortunately for the Big Bang, as a part of science it's supposed to make sense. God is faith, it doesn't have to.

Did you just read me getting a little closer to believing in God again? YES.

Either way man, I WISH and HOPE that after we die we all go to some school where everything is explained, and it doesn't matter if you pass or fail, because you're fucking dead anyways.

Anyways, back to the topic...

My purpose is music, teaching, and saving someone's life.

Somewhere in there I hope to fall in love too, but that shit is doubtful.

Logic Speaks =/