Lost in a whirlpool

*sigh*

Ok, maybe it changed things a little more than I'd like to think.

To me it's still this sort of surreal occurrence that I'm not entirely sure even happened in reality. Everything and everyone around me seems the same. Yet, I feel different.

Looking at it optimistically, she finally feels comfortable with me. Maybe even safe. Like, when she's alone with me I take all of her pain away. Maybe I just numb it.

Looking at it pessimistically, she feels that way with everybody in that situation.

Yet, it's still this kind of big relief, that all I wanted was for things to be like that consistently and there's a chance it could end up that way. Not to say it WILL, because Lord knows it could have been a once-in-a-lifetime thing, especially how everything went...

So I know I have to chill, and see what moves I need to make. I've learned how she signals those moves now, and while subtle, I can see right through her. I see her pain, and even if I'm just there to make it go away for a short while, if I can, I will.

Then we'll see if the sun still shines a little brighter the next day...